i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
how does that bad decision feel?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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