I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
