My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
