You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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