Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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