If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
