Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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