Swine flu is the new snow day.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
