I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
honey bunches of taint.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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