You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
