someone get that fucking seahorse.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
