remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
