I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
