Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate all girls vehemently.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
