Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
