How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So much rum. So many feels.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
