Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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