ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize