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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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