we have pet lesbian snakes
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
