This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize