You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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