Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
