I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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