I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
