At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
