everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
