Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
