even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
