I didn't shave. On purpose
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
