How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
