Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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