So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
