Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
