why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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