Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
