is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
how drunk are you?
Several
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
