Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
