The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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