I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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