well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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