Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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