trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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