Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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