She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
