Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
