you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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