im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
