She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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