im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
