Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
