its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
