wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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