I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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