OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
