the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
